Copyright © Sydarta Curtis. All rights reserved.

I MADE THIS PAGE SPECIALLY 4 SARA & LIAM HARVEY FROM AGONY AUTIE: 

FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW 2 PUT AUDIO ON HERE, INCLUDING FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE, the 2 hour show I did with Marina Sirtis from Star Trek TNG. IT IS SILLY, I HOPE U ENJOY IT!  I WILL PUT UP MORE FUN STUFF I HAVE DONE sOON...   I NEVER LEARNED 2 SET THIS WEBSITE UP PROPERLY, NOW I HAVE A REASON TO, WAHOO!!!!!!!   THE AUTISTIC REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN!!!

IF U LISTEN 2 MY REEL ALL THE WAY THRU, disregard THE INEXCUSABLE BRITISH ACCENT! YUCK.

lovelovelovemoreloveinfinitelove:)syd

ok now i am having difficulties sending a legible email so i am reproducing the entire thing below for you JUST IN CASE...

  • VOICE DEMO REEL2:34

 please excuse the state of this site, I have no idea what i am doing...

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 MY CHARACTER IS  

POONJA

IN THE ONESIE-

WITH THE NICE SET OF

PERSONALITIES.    

  

 lovelovelovemoreloveinfinitelove


(AAARG! I just realized this entire email is in caps, SORRRY!)

APRIL 20, 2018

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIAM!       
DEAREST, LOVELY SARA & LIAM,


PLEASE FORGIVE ME 4 TAKING SO LONG 2 CONTACT U BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!  BURNT OUT AFTER 49 YEARS OF MASKING, I HAVE BEEN TRYING 2 SIT DOWN & WRITE THIS EMAIL 4 ALMOST A MONTH... I AM RENEWED 2DAY: NEUROTRIBES FINALLY ARRIVED!!!  & I AM WATCHING
SARA INTERVIEWING PAPA STEVE SILBERMAN- THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN!  


MY SOCIAL MEDIA MONIKER SYDARTA ROSE FINGERMONKE CHANGED 2DAY 2 SYDARTA THORSDOTTIR== MY SUPERHERO
AULTEREGO!  AGONY AUTIE IS TEACHING ME 2 LOVE MYSELF & 2 B MYSELF & LEARN 2 TRUST MYSELF.  I HAVE A COMMUNITY NOW!  MY ENDLESS BOUNDLESS THANKS 2 U 2, IT IS FRUSTRATING THAT ENGLISH CANNOT PROPERLY CONVEY MY GRATITUDE, I WILL FIND A WAY; SOMEHOW, SOME WAY...


MEANWHILE, MY BRIEF
AUTYBIO:


INSPIRED BY MY HERO SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS 2 SEEK DIAGNOSIS 4 VALIDATION & SERVICES AS AN ADULT... BUT AS I WRITE THESE WORDS I HAVE DECIDED
NOT 2 GET A "FORMAL MEDICAL DIAGNOSIS" BECAUSE I DO NOT BELIEVE AUTISM IS AN ILLNESS,  IT IS A WAY OF EXPERIENCING THIS WORLD.  I FIND THE DISCUSSION OF "SYMPTOMS"* INSULTING & AN ATTEMPT 2 INVALIDATE OUR EXPERIENCES.  UNEQUIVOCALLY,  I DO NOT SUFFER FROM AUTISM.  WHAT I SUFFER FROM IS CPTSD BECAUSE OF ABLISM & GASLIGHTING & OUTRIGHT ABUSE FROM THOSE NOT UNDERSTANDING MY AUTISTIC BRAIN & HOW I EXPERIENCE PAIN PAIN PAIN SO MUCH PAIN BUT NO ONE BELIEVES ME... & MOSTLY: FROM MY OWN MASKING.  HALF A CENTURY OF IT.


MISDIAGNOSED OVER & OVER & OVER & GASLIT (GASLIGHTED?) BY THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT, I CANNOT, WILL NOT TRUST THEM FULLY EVER AGAIN.  LABELED LAZY & A FAILURE NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRIED, I STOPPED TRYING.  I AM BEGINNING 2 UNDERSTAND WHAT MY PSEUDO-NEURO-TYPICAL BEHAVIOR HAS COST NOT JUST ME BUT THE ENTIRE WORLD- WHICH HAS BEEN DEPRIVED OF MY AUTHENTICITY & UNIQUE CONTRIBUTIONS.  FINDING MY AUTISTIC COMMUNITY HAS PROVIDED MORE ANSWERS & COMFORT THAN A LIFETIME OF SEARCHING ELSEWHERE.


THE MOST DEVASTATING PART OF ABLISM & MASKING HAS BEEN SUBVERTING STIMMING.  STIMMING PROVIDES IMMEASURABLE RELIEF & SUPPRESSION OF STIMMING IS IMMEASURABLY DEBILITATING. DUE 2 MASKING I AM IN FULL BODY CLENCH EV'RY WAKING MOMENT, I CANNOT UNCLENCH 2 SLEEP... UNLESS I STIM.  A LOT.  ALL DAY, EV'RY DAY.  


IF I FORGET, REVERT, REGRESS BACK IN2 ABLEST BELIEFS FOISTED UPON ME BY MYRIAD MISUNDERSTANDINGS FROM EV'RY ANGLE & HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT IN, I MELT DOWN.  QUICKLY, UGLY, UNAVOIDABLY & EXCRUCIATINGLY MELT DOWN & DOWN & DOWN IN2 A SHELL, A CRYSTALLINE ME THAT DISSOCIATES FROM EV'RYTHING, INCLUDING LOVE. I FEEL UNLOVABLE, UNREACHABLE, UNACCEPTABLE IN THIS STATE, & THERE IS NO ESCAPE, ONLY RIDING IT OUT IN2 EXHAUSTION & SPENDING PRECIOUS SPOONS & LOST TIME RECOVERING.


SO THANK U THANK U THANK U 4 MAKING THOSE STIMMING VIDEOS, SARA & LIAM!  I HAD NO IDEA!!!!!!!  NONE. YOU HAVE HELPED ME FREE MYSELF! STIMMING IS MY ROAD BACK 2 HEALTH, I FEEL IT.  DANCING, VOCALIZING, HANDFLAPPING WITH GLEE, IT IS UNCOVERING THE REAL ME, THE UN-PSEUDO-NEURO-TYPICAL ME!  AUTHENTIC, AUTISTIC ME!!!  & EXQUISITELY... AUTHENTIC, AUTISTIC ME IS
ARTISTIC ME:) STIMMING RELIEVES BUILT UP UNPRODUCTIVE ENERGY & ALLOWS ME 2 B TRULY PRODUCTIVE; CONTRIBUTING & NOT FEELING LIKE SUCH A WASTE.


HAD I POSSESSED THE SKILLS AS A CHILD THAT I AM LEARNING FROM YOUR GENEROSITY & BRAVERY 4 APPEARING AS YOURSELVES, I COULD B CONTRIBUTING 2 OUR REVOLUTION ALREADY!  THIS IS MY ONLY TRUE REGRET.  BUT I AM JUST A KID!!!  TRULY!!!  NEXT FEBRUARY 11 I WILL B 50 YEARS OLD & I AM REALLY TRULY JUST A KID.


I BELIEVE THAT THE SPECTRUM IS NEITHER A LINE NOR A CIRCLE, BUT A SPHERE.  I ALSO BELIEVE THAT THE TERMS "LOW-FUNCTIONING" & "HIGH FUNCTIONING" R REVERSED WHEN NEUROTYPICALS REFER 2 US.  WHAT THEY R PERCEIVING USING THEIR NT THEORY OF MIND IS THE OPPOSITE OF AUTISTIC THEORY OF MIND: A HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTIST/AUTISTIC, ACCORDING TO PURE un-NT-POLLUTED AUTISTIC THEORY OF MIND, IS COMPLETELY UNMASKED, COMPLETELY AUTISTIC.


BLUNTLY, SIMPLY, THE CURE FOR AUTISM IS ACCEPTANCE.  EDIT: The cure for Autism is EQUALITY.


*ALTERNATIVES 2 REPLACE THE WORD "SYMPTOM:"
    attribute
    character/characteristic
    distinction
    facet
    feature-BUT I FIND THIS SO CANICOO
    idiosyncrasy
    indication
    manner/mannerism
    oddity
    particularity
    peculiarity
    quality
    quirk- I love it, like quark, but canicoo/ick 2 some
    trait
    virtue
(*IN ITALICS=POSSIBLY AS OFFENSIVE AS "SYMPTOM" 2 SOME FOLK?)
(*IN BOLD= PERSONAL PREFERENCES!)


IF I DO NOT SEND THIS EMAIL NOW, I NEVER WILL.  IT WILL NEVER B PERFECT, NEITHER WILL I... & THAT IS PERFECT.


... BUT PERHAPS I WILL TELL U WHY I AM WRITING FIRST HAHAHA!  I EARN MY LIVING AS A VOICE OVER ARTIST & HAVE A SMALL VOCAL BOOTH/RECORDING STUDIO IN MY HOME, RUNNING 2 IMACS WITH PROTOOLS SOFTWARE.  LEARNING 2 USE THESE TOOLS PROPERLY HAS BEEN LIKE STICKING FORKS IN MY EYES UP UNTIL NOW.  NOW, I HAVE INTEREST & PURPOSE IN LEARNING HOW 2 UTILIZE THEM, BECAUSE THE AUTISTIC REVOLUTION WILL B TELEVISED!!!  


I HEREBY OFFER MY ABILITIES 2 FURTHER OUR UNITED CAUSE.  BEGINNING WITH CLOSED CAPTIONING: I USE IT & NEED IT 2 FULLY UNDERSTAND ANY VIDEO & HAVE WANTED 2 CLOSE CAPTION THINGS MYSELF SINCE I WAS A CHILD!  I AM SO EXCITED 4 THE OPPORTUNITY 2 BOTH HELP & LEARN YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!! & CONTRIBUUUUUUUTE YAAAY!!!


AS I ACQUIRE EDITING SKILLS, I CAN ASSIST FURTHER.  I HAVE BEEN WRITING A COUPLE OF SONGS 4 U AS WELL, I HAVE TOOO MANY ARTISTIC CONTRIBUTIONS I WILL BRING 2 LIST... I AM SO EXCITED 2 FINALLY HAVE A PURPOSE & DIRECTION 4 ALL THIS UNRESOLVED CREATIVITY!


THANK U IS AGAIN SO WOEFULLY INADEQUATE 2 THE DEPTH OF EMOTION I AM EXPERIENCING 4 YOUR EFFORTS ON BEHALF OF OUR COMMUNITY.      BUT THANK U.


lovelovelovemoreloveinfinitelove:)syd


PS I PLAYED "POONJA" IN AN AUDIO SHOW CALLED "FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE" WITH MARINA SIRTIS FROM STAR TREK TNG & UPLOADED IT 2 SYDARTA.COM ON THE 'LOVE 4 AGONY AUTIE' PAGE 4 YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE THIS WEEKEND...  A COUPLA CLIPS FROM YOUTUBE:

2 MINUTE EXCERPT FROM FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLE BEE.
(UNFORTUNATELY I AM NOT IN EITHER OF THESE CLIPS! but the whole thing is posted above)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSuDl5G5bhM
6 MINUTE BEHIND THE SCENES/REVIEW, SORT OF:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYQ4vATVvwE


SYDARTA

WELCOME 2 MY

NEURODIVERGENT

ADVENTURE